My motivation to STUDY.

Just a little update when I'm having my SPM. 

There's one thing , I never dare to tell him. It's not something gross like I LOVE YOU. 
But,

"Actually, you are always my study motivation. Since I get close to you. "

Maybe we're just not that close as you think. But then I always dream that want to be like him. Having such GODLIKE results. [I dont have other words to describe his result.]

When sometime he ask me go study. I will have the motivation to do that. Maybe you will think I like him or whatever. But all I can say is, he has the power to make me go study. Cz he is the best role model to do so..

Recently, he studying that course I once dream to study. But you know.....my results and body condition. I didnt manage to do well in my exams recently. [I wish I'm as healthy as you all..]

So when he wished me "GOODLUCK for SPM" . I really feel more powerful. The next day I go to school and do my papers will full with EFFORT he gave me. Although I may still face some questions I dont know. But I will try my best to do it.

When some questions I asked him. And he could solve for me just in a quick time. Although sometimes I'm stupid enough. Cz I hardly can understand abit of what he explained. But he made the effort to make me understand everything.
 And that makes me to memorise more well in exams.

Thank You. I hope u can still always be my study effort.

I dont know will you see this. And I dont know what will u react to my post. Feel like I'm confessing. But actually I'm not. Haha....
Relax BRO :)



#MPMC


Growing Up Is Not Easy...

It had been a long time since my last update. Im busying with my game, studies, exam and of course my sicknees. Imagine my highest record for meeting a doctor in is 5 times per month and the bill is more than RM200+ . Shocking right? haha. Im a weak ass :) lol.

Few more weeks left to SPM. and after SPM I will leave my secondary school life. Im now a Form 5 students. Actually, I should be more n more mature. Many things in me changed,just not my temper. Sorry to all my friends. Seriously.

Growing up is not easy. In my past few year in Secondary school. Once if I argue with someone, I will NEVER stop. But now I will stop, and say sorry. No matter who is the one who start the arguement first. Cz I know, people who remain as my friends are those who is real to me. I know it. I dont wanna lose anyone of them, so I will decided to say sorry first and accept all their comment about me.

Start thinking bout my future. Recently I finally make up my mind to leave Seremban after form 5 and never come back within big holidays or Chinese New Year. Just because Im the only child. I wanna learn how to live by my ownself without parents around me. Maybe it's hurt to tell them I wanna study in other places and wont come back.

I dont know how much did I changed. Sometimes I dont even know my words hurt people. Sometimes I was just joking and I dont know why some people just take that so serious. I think after this I shouldnt be joking around in my LIFE anymore. And I dont have the right to.

And from now on, I will try my best not to fall in love or have crush until I finish my studies. It's not the time to love somebody now. Im still too young. I dont have the right to talk about LOVE, I dont have the right to talk about FOREVER. No one knows what gonna happen tomorrow.
When I finally make up my mind not to love anybody until my age is suit to, you know... I actually dont care bout the thing happened yesterday. Seriously. Friends, Im okay with it :)

I really appreciate I have a best male friend and a bestie who always give me advise in my life. They are the best listener (boys) in my life. No matter how much we argue, we still talk back. That is my best male friend. He teach me alot. He said "Not to care about other people,coz no one gonna do the same to you." That was so true. ;)
My bestie, I do really betray him on certain things, but he thought Im angry with him. and said sorry to me. Haha..noob enough. But appreciate that he picked up his phone when Im sad enough to call him in the midnight. This two boys will always remain the most important male friends in my life.

And my bestfriends/jimuii. Thanks for accompany me when Im going through my worst time. Thanks alot. Especially the one I knew the longest. That one message made u to call me immediately just to ask me what happen. That show how much u care bout me. We all grew up alot. Really, when I look back those photos we took when we were form 2/3, and I realise how childish we were. Haha. We grew up alot. And some even had boyfriend now. Haha!

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+ The one I didnt talked to for a long time
 Hey, how are you? It had been a long time we didnt talk to each other. And I dont know the reason. And I dont have to mood to really care bout it. You know my sickness.. It is getting serious. Im more worry bout it than our problem. So I decided to leave it aside. and then never know that we will became like this. You know? I dont wish to lost u this friend. You are the first one who talked to me when I enter this secondary school. I dont wanna leave this school without you as friend. I dont care how much people around me dont like ur gang of friend. But YOU. I still treat u as my friend. Always and Forever.
p/s : I read ur blog before I write this. You really changed alot in certain way. It's good to know that :)


我怎么了?

不知道为什么 最近有两个人问我同一个问题... 可能我自己看不出吧. 就只有旁观者看得清楚。

他们都问我 : "Su,你怎么了? 怎么最近看起来那么不开心/闷闷不乐?"
我的反应都是, 没有啊, 才没有呢! :)

可是. 哪里可能..... 我最近真的很不开心啊...只是没必要告诉每个人吧.
关心我的人会担心, 讨厌我的人会开心.

继上一篇blog我讲到我拿回biology了. 是的, 拿回了. 可是我真的不知道怎样去跟回. 我真的好后悔. 真的好羡慕那个同学能侥幸留在A班...可是却不需要拿biology. 真的好羡慕他啊. :( 搞得我因为这件事...对account开始想放弃了...可是不能啊.... :(






还记得她进医院是一个月前的事吧? 恩...结果上个星期五. 她还是离开了我们. 太突然了...就连我那些见过她的朋友知道后都觉得很惊讶. 是啊, 之前是说病情变好了的. 可是我不知道为什么....对我来说也很突然. 星期五早上妈妈告诉我的时候, 我以为是自己听错 一直不敢接受这个事实. 可是这是真的啊....不是梦啊 :(

是的. 星期五我们就开始举办丧礼了. 所以我也没有去学校.. 朋友都不知道原因. 直到chanel知道后,问我有没有去补习...我忍着眼泪告诉她说 我没去.. 恩 结果还是忍不住了..直接挂电话.况且 我不想再电话里面哭啊....

还记得她总告诉我 "我不能跌倒的啊. 我一跌就没了..." ...想不到还真的被她自己说中了. 我一直责怪自己那天晚上为什么不陪她在客厅看戏却跑回房间玩电话 :(

到了星期五晚上, 丧礼的仪式好多好多. 好累好累. 可是这也是我们唯一能为她做的最后一件事情.

恩. 谢谢你. 陪我聊了一整个晚上....真的很谢谢你每一次我不开心的时候细心听我诉苦. 虽然可能你只不过是不想我生气甚至纯粹听了算....可是对我来说这些陪伴足以让我把你当成最好的诉苦对象. :) 可能你只把我当萍水相逢的朋友可是你对我来说真的是个很重要的朋友.

辛苦了3天后. 终于完了...真的好想抱头大哭. 可是不行. 我就是哭不出. 我总觉得在我伤得很深很深的时候我是不会那么容易哭得出的...就像我一个朋友今天告诉我他的经历那样。看着自己生命里重要的人离去. 不是说哭就能哭得出的.

几天后,看到妈妈在收拾她的房间的时候. 看见地上满满都是她的东西...鼻子不仅酸了一下...恩.谢谢那些一直安慰我的朋友. Buddy. THANKS ALOT! :) 也谢谢我的好朋友们 :)

恩...........都过去了. 我也慢慢地接受这个事实了..我没事了.




AhSu, Hwaiting! :) MyungSoo Oppa陪你度过 :')

累了.

好累啊...身心累了..身体累了...脑子也累了...
也应该没人会预料到 那校长说第二班的学生得拿回BIOLOGY.
如果不拿呢,就得去C班..其实C班认识的人不多...而且也习惯了A班..
我无从选择...而且就只有一天的考虑时间. 我还能考虑太多吗? 其实我知道不能.

又有谁会预料到婆婆跌到后 第二天就进医院了..
而且骨头也爆了...三天了..还未能出院..昨天爸爸去探望她..
她好像迷迷糊糊的...我不知道能怎样..我只能在家一直希望她没事..
如果当晚不是我那么早进房间...在客厅看着她..她可能就不会跌到了...
而且一跌就如此严重了...身为孙子的我..能不担心吗? 朋友都说希望她没事.
我也希望一句"希望她没事" ,她就能立即康复啊... 家里好需要她...爸爸妈妈这几天都好辛苦.

也没人能预料到其实我并不像别人那么正常...
更没有人能预料到其实我不像别人那么坚强...

谁也不能预料这么多事发生..陪我谈心事的竟然是你..
其实那天....真的很谢谢你...不然的话..我真的可能就垮了..
谢谢你听我诉苦...谢谢你的那句 "你ok吗?" 其实你那句话差点就把我给弄哭了..
也谢谢你让我笑回...真的谢谢.. 其实那个问题我是真心想问你的..
如果有一天我哭着打给你..请你...认真的听我说的话..和陪我.
朋友, 其实你很重要. 你懂?

谁也不能预料在我这么脆弱的时候..我的蓝颜竟然不理我..是冷战吧..就互相都不找对方了.
诶, 其实我不想别人代替你在我心里的位置. 你知道吗. 你对我真的很重要..
我不想我们的友谊 就这样结束. 就算我真的无法融入你的群体.
可是我希望我和你还能与你有话题, 无话不谈..
然后我拼命说着自己没事时,你回我一句我知道你有事..然后我就什么都告诉你..

谁也不能预料我就一直夹在你们之间.其实我这样也很累.
为了维护你们其中一个 在你们面前撒谎. 说屁话...其实我真的很累..
并不是我不想聆听...是如果我帮了你 到头来也是没用的..那我何必 我干脆有话直说算了..
我并不是想在你emo的时候伤你什么的..想想我的感受吧朋友..我其实很辛苦...

谁也不能预料我写的你们会不会看到这一篇东西..我只能说..我累了...不写了...
我现在的心情再写下去..真的会哭..

Happy 2014 :)

不要酱快今日2014的话题先 我们先来说说去年的平安夜哈哈 今天刚巧有个白痴鸟窝头提醒我 关于我的blog 哈哈 好吧我要在这里说你的坏话咯 哈哈

平安夜我们去了chanel家倒数 结果多了一gang男的和我们一起倒数 他们jinja玩得好疯啊 尤其是他们把胡须当假发的时候

还要一直假扮女生 jinja够傻 还录了一个影片给远哲 tkw 的脸jinja epic xD

哈哈 很懒惰形容 po照片吧 第一次用电话update blog :0 不简单啊 哈哈哈!!

然后然后第二天我们就去pd游泳啦 讷 某位大笨象啊 把人家泳池边的东西睬烂了 笑惨 当管理员发现时 还装没事游泳 jinja白痴 哈哈哈哈

结果他们玩得太粗鲁把chanel的两个弟弟弄哭了 😩😩😩😩😩 人家小小年纪就给你们教到爆菊花 真是悲哀啊 以前我他们这个年纪时 我还在被郑老师折磨诶 😭😭😭

睡觉照我就不好po了 费事被揍 哈哈哈哈 接着就开始去学校开会 结果2013年最后一天又相约聚在chanel家庆祝 这次邀请了更多人 可是出席的也只有四位 哈哈 没关系 还是很开心 至少比跟.....出去看戏开心 哈哈

说真的 我不知道为什么他们要把那个白痴抬起来 是嫌他会挡住镜头吗?哈哈 那就对了 没人挡镜头

然后又不懂哪一个白痴提议拍丑照做profile photo啊 丑死了 他妈的 有一个背叛者没放哟 所以我打算在这里放 哈哈哈哈 有什么事冲着我来 别欺负我电话xD
Jellyme :D

Tkw :p

那个眉毛很多的大笨象 🐘

很像维尼熊的維霖 哈哈😄

令人毛骨悚然的Weng 😱😱😱

Plastic surgery failed eh Esmond xD

Yam Lou zzzz

笑到嘴巴脱臼的ah Gan xD

女生的我还是别po了 你说我偏私好了哈哈哈哈 我就不要po你要我怎样 LalalallalalaxP

结果休息一天就开学了 好伤心啊 还在放假的心情呢 ah gan惨一点 还在圣诞节的mood-,- 

开学了 跟大笨象同班 既然他提醒我写blog 我就给他意思意思留一段关于他的吧 like seriously xD 想起那个我save错你电话号码 就是个美丽的误会 要不要去call下那女生认识认识?哈哈 还有啊 其实若儿屁股不错美啦 我知道你喜欢屁股美的 选她准没错xD 还有哦 下次不要在游泳池放屁 :((((( 我有阴影了😫😫😫😫😫😫😫


最后我奉劝大家 
还是回火星吧 哈哈哈😬😬😬😬





(又有人要说"这个suleng啊........" 了 xD)